That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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