is your mom at the bar?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
