please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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