OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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