the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
