i don't like sucking hair
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
