using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
