Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
