Can Purell be used as lube?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
