im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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