5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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