apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
