Porn is love you can see.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
