your thong is hanging out like whoa
You can't special order awesome
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
