Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Randomize
