So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize