Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'd cum for enchiladas.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
