Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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