Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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