What did we do last night that was yellow?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
