apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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