If i come over, it means nothing
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
