Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize