I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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