I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
