just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I want to be your penis for a week.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
