is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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