we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
