We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
