Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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