Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
