we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
