woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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