yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The power of my boobs compel you
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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