awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize