Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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