so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
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