If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
