I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
