you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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