so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You work out of a Hotel?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
