Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
