My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
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