Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
