Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
