Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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