I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
