you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
