We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
