I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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