My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
