so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
