His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
