in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
