we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
