I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
