so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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