Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
