There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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