let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
