it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize