idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
