I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
