covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
