Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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