no, he came in my armpit
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He kissed a someone with a penis
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
