so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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