It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize