I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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