I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
