i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
