I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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