never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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