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I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize