Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
