If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
