There was a lot of him and a little penis
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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