everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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