hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
