Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
